Who, what, whit, webb...

Some might say we aren’t the most conventional. Others (Whitney) might joke about how in comparison to the ages of many friends upon wedding, we’re practically geriatric. So when it came down to an “about us” we all knew it was going to be weird. And we couldn’t disappoint people…so we polled some friends about what their most burning questions were about, well, us. You’re welcome:

(Let’s start with a controversial one) When was your first date?

Whit: I think we are all very aware (Webb would like to note the hand motions I used when I said that) that I was a bit off when it comes to what counts as our first date. Some would like to count a March 2016 trip to IKEA to buy a table for a church altar. Others, ahem Webb, would say when I asked if he liked the ballet which he used to facilitate an outing to the Kennedy Center in October of 2016. I’ve come to say it was somewhere around February 2017, but I was pretty much in denial till about a year later. So, clearly, I’m not the best person to ask.
Webb: Correct. Whitney asked me to go to the ballet, and I was like, hmm I guess she isn’t repulsed by me? So I was clearly confused when, after several more dates, she didn’t seem to understand why I thought we might have dinner on Valentine’s Day.
Whit: Two someones asked me in December 2016 if I was stealth dating Webb and if it was so stealth that even I didn’t know. I said no. Apparently, the answer to that was yes. It took about a year for me to be on the page…or you know, in the same book…sooooo, early 2018?

If Webb/Whitney were a character in Harry Potter, who would they be?

Whit: Webb would be Draco Malfoy. [mic drop]
Totally joking. I would go with the ever endearing Professor Remus Lupin, I mean he’s no Severus Snape, but he’s still a gem.
Webb: A nice helping of Professor McGonagall with--although she might not agree--a bit of Hermione in there.

What is your ideal date?

Webb: I’m classic. Late drinks and food while Whitney makes friends with the bartender.
Whit: That sounds right.

What’s your favorite quality of each other?

Webb: Her personal discernment - she seems always to know when to empathize and when to push back. Also that she thinks she’s the funniest person on the planet.
Whit: First, I’m totally the funniest person ever. But back to the question at hand, his sparkling personality, or…how many times he rolls his eyes at me while I’m bouncing around singing Veggie Tales or Psalty the Singing Songbook or a 90s CCM jam or Sleep Tight, Paul Bunyan.

If the other was a charcuterie board ingredient, which would they be and why?

Webb: Parm or Genoa - holds the whole board together.
Whit: Ummm, like Prosciutto di Parma or Parmesan? Cause those are two very different things — and one I’ve rarely put on a board.
Webb: I was going to go with a nice sharp cheddar instead of Parm, but Whitney’s not basic like that.
Whit: How about a manchego? A bit nutty but a classic?
Webb: Manchego is great. I mean, Prosciutto and Manchego - the new classics.
Whit: Fine.
Webb: I wanted to go with that spiced ham because I LOVE IT….
Whit: Coppa.
Webb: …but calling you a spicy ham felt too much.
Whit: Okay there…back to the actual question cause this is getting a bit out of hand. Webb would be a nice goat cheese stuffed pepper. A little sass, a little sweet, a little surprising. Or maybe fig jam, a little weird but also a delight. Or carrots, reliable and great.
Ugh, decision making is clearly not one of my spiritual gifts.

What’s your favorite liturgical season?

Webb  Can I say Lent? I didn’t grow up marking off Lent, and it brings something new to me every year. But Christmas is still Christmas.
Whit: OOO, Lent. Or a toss up between Advent and Easter. Sucker for the Advent and Lent musical selections, but I also love me some aggressive Easter bell-ringing.

How do you feel about a Hallmark movie about your relationship titled “Love at the Altar”?

Webb: I can’t.

What will be your favorite retirement activities?

Whit: Travel. Can retirement start now?
Webb: Ditto. I’ll join for that.

If you could live in any country for a year what would it be?

Webb: Somewhere in Scandinavia. Or honestly, London.
Whit: I told Webb and Ann if they got lawyer jobs in Paris/Brussels I would keep house for them on our farm in the French countryside. Hint

What’s a fact about the other person that would surprise most of us?

Webb: She is the fastest reader I know (not speed-reading) and will retain every detail. Don’t test her.
Whit: Webb. He’s a sappy one. No, like seriously, he’s the sappy one in the duo. Oh wait, was I supposed to pick something that was actually surprising?

What Olympic sport would you do?
(Pretending like hip surgery never happened)

Webb: A sliding sport. Luge.
Whit: Gymnastics! Swimming! Diving! Ice Dancing! Why would you make me choose??!!

What song best describes your relationship and why?

Webb: “Summer of ‘69” or “Cowboy Take Me Away”
Whit: And he’s lost it.